Just a simple post to update you about Will – our darling and brave warrior. As you know he has stood strong in the face of a daunting diagnosis and taken every step of treatment like a true warrior. He has done everything we could have asked and more and, still, has never uttered a complaint or a word of resentment; guided always by hope rather than fear.
After learning his cancer was terminal Will chose to come home and savor the rest of his days in the place he loves best – HOME. We have had many trips to and from Children’s for blood and platelets to keep Will chugging along and he has enjoyed his days, simple as they are, appreciating the rituals of daily life. Big brother Jack making a point to come home during the school days on “off” periods so they can battle on their video games or watch an episode of House – often hosting poker nights so that even if Will was not feeling great he would be surrounded by the lively energy of teenage boys. Biggest brother Stathi coming home every weekend from his post at CSU to log as much time with Will as possible; a natural caretaker in his own right, always knowing just what to do for his little brother. All of us compressing our orbit so that we can keep life rolling while also soaking up every moment of memory making as if we could tattoo Will’s spirit into our very souls.
On Monday we learned that Will’s white blood count had jumped dramatically which is a sign his disease burden is becoming larger. We had to be on the lookout for signs of stroke and other complications even though we understand his body wouldn’t likely withstand any major event. Thus far he’s been relatively stable but other signs of his leukemia are evident; greater dependance on oxygen, increased edema as his organs become less efficient. His delicate body now swollen and uncomfortable and the days of “still having a little fun” coming to a close. We have started leaning on the hospice team a little more for relief and guidance and these beautiful souls are arm in arm with us until the finish line.
Will has asked for permission to surrender and we have given it. He is now resting comfy in his new “hospital” bed with his brothers by his side. His pumps are running a higher dose of meds to keep him comfortable and he is starting to slow down. He bravery and peace of mind even in these impossible moments a testament to the strength that runs deep to his core. His example of grace a reminder that no matter the circumstance we absolutely can choose how we move through. His short life coming to a close but still inspiring in the very nature of his presence and maturity.
We have spent the day in a midst of tears and laughter. We have held each others hands and we have spent quiet time alone with our own thoughts. We are walking our boy home in the only way we know how….following his lead by not backing down from this next challenge but rather facing it head on, still guided by hope rather than fear. He has assured us he is not scared and his only worry are those he will leave behind….so to those who love him, he is so very sorry for leaving so soon.
We are overwhelmed by your love and humbled by our community of prayers warriors, vibe senders and kindness doers. We have appreciated every gesture whether text or meal or donation and although my bandwidth doesn’t always allow a proper thanks please know we feel your love for us and appreciate it so very much. This has certainly required endurance in sticking with us and we will continue to rely on you all for a long time to come. We all know the long game is where it’s at so thanks for having our backs and, rest assured, we’ll have yours should you ever need it.
Shining light, love and faith from our little home in Lone Tree, Colorado – please pray for peace and comfort for Mister Will as he makes his way to his next post.