Trips to the PICU are earned pretty easily by kids being treated for cancer but until tonight Will had avoided any dramatic changes of scenery and stayed put on the 7th Floor.  These past few days, however, have been challenging for Mr. Will – he’s been dealing with some mighty fierce side effects from this round of treatment – both the daily oral chemo and IV chemo he was given for a number of days last week are very high dose and full of piss and vinegar.  Today was particularly rough – his condition escalated pretty quickly with a very high fever (108 degrees – I actually almost dropped my phone when I did the conversion from C to F) and a lot of respiratory distress that was concerning enough to take him down to ICU which happens to be on the 3rd floor:)

He is being well taken care of and watched over very closely by his nurse.  It’s a bit of a fishbowl but the attention is needed right now until he is more stable.  He is working hard to breath even on oxygen and his fever is at a constant simmer but thus far stays more under control.  His heart rate has finally started to slow down and seeing the more reassuring numbers on the monitor has allowed my own heart rate to settle as well.  I gaze at his sleeping body and am astounded at how much he has already been through and the inner strength that has sustained him thus far.  I am struck by the beauty and tenderness of him at rest, his eyelashes still impossibly long and graze the tops of his cheeks as he sleeps; his hair line making a reappearance sprouting peach fuzz in the most determined manner.  There is tenacity and fragility, there is dark and there is light.  There is fear and despair and then, once again, there is hope.  There is always hope.

Thank you to all our warriors – those who pray and those who send their energy our way.  There is magic in this room – Will is being watched over by God and by his guardian angels.  I am humbled and place my worry aside for it does no good; instead I trust that we are exactly where we should be and that all will be well.  Signing off for now as I am weary and the words have left me but please know we love you and wish you all much peace tonite.