As we are about to usher in 2019 I have some time to reflect on the year soon coming to a close.  Given our current situation, my tendency is to give 2018 a swift and emphatic kick to hasten it’s exit but, yet, I pause….and, much like the Grinch, my heart suddenly grows three sizes and I have to smile.

2018 has been good to us; a few great family vacations, boys doing really well in school, Stathi and his doubles partner(tennis) finishing 5th in State, good times with family and friends, daily long walks with our beloved dog, Mohawk, Stuva treating himself to his first pickup truck “Georgia”, Stathi accepted into CSU and the list goes on……and here we were chugging along making plans for 2019 until the early afternoon of December 18th, 2018.

While Will’s diagnosis has certainly thrown us a curve ball it was also a wake-up call of sorts.  We’ve always considered ourselves lucky and tried to acknowledge our gratitude for the “little” things; now the little things are more relative.  So today, we are grateful for the fact that, despite the snow, the brothers were able to come and play board games with Will. We are grateful Will ate a decent meal this evening.  We are grateful that the big boys stuck around home with Stuva a bit this evening before venturing off to be with their friends.  We are grateful that our night nurse tonight is old school and not taking any slack off of Will (he’s got some of these nurses running for cover as his stubborn streak is making a comeback, bless their twenty-year old hearts)….

Gratitude is a like a magnet; the more you are grateful for the more you will receive to be grateful for and it’s suddenly natural to be grateful for literally EVERYTHING!  We don’t have to do that self-check maneuver where we go down the rabbit hole of wanting more and then, feeling greedy and sheepish, remind ourselves we really SHOULD be grateful but still wouldn’t it be nice if………nope, now we just exist in a state of gratitude and it feels like freedom.

As of this morning Will has finished this first round of Chemo (10 days) and had his 4th lumbar puncture to infuse his spinal fluid with chemo.  His counts are at zero and now he begins the process of recovering his counts (this could take another 2-3 weeks from now) to a level whereby he earns a trip home for a brief spell before we return to the 7th floor to start the process over again.

Today he sat by the window and gazed out….my heart was heavy as he seemed so sad but when I asked him about it he simply said he hadn’t sat and looked out the window in a very long time.  It’s not for me or Stuva or anyone else to assign to Will what he might be feeling or thinking during this time but my hope is that, even if for a moment, he felt gratitude as he imagined how it would feel to be back home for a while.

Truly, 2018 has been a great year for the Maniatis family as I hope it has been for all of you.  I look forward to the New Year and wish you all much health and happiness in 2019.  Again, a huge thank you for every single gesture of kindness we’ve received – it keeps us afloat and means more than you could likely imagine.  Signing off in my sweats and will be asleep way before midnight and I’m so GRATEFUL!!!!  XOXOXO